I THOUGHT "STRAIGHT HAIR" WAS BETTER
My name is Francesca, but most call me Sarah since my mom has never called me by my legal name growing up. It's a confusing topic, but we'll get to that another time.
I grew up in Haiti, where 95% of the population is Black. We were lucky enough to learn to love and embrace our features in school, including our hair. A famous poem known as "Choukoun" inspired many girls, including myself, to embrace our Afrocentric roots. However, it didn't take long for the malignant stereotypes about natural hair to spread. Most women started to believe that "straight hair" was the beauty standard. I was sadly one of them too!
Perm became popular in the coily community and I was excited to use it when I turned 12 years old. I remember my momma sitting me in front of her, parting my hair in sections to apply the chemical cream on my strands. However, the heavy burns it'd leave on my scalp and ears made the experience not always pleasant. The scars made me question if it was worth it. But since we wanted to keep doing the same thing as everyone blinded my judgment and my mom's.
After a while, I suffered from significant hair damage. My hair started to thin out and my mom had no other choice than to cut it. She left the roots which reverted to their natural state and some of the damaged strands. I never understood why she never cut off the hair completely for I looked like a dalmatian pelican for months. Of course that made me the laughingstock of the school too, which I hated going to because of embarrassment.
My mom cared a lot about my hair. She bought bamboo-based products to take care of it including the "Dr. Miracle" brand with "sulfur 8". My hair started growing again and I received a few compliments. The problem was that it felt dry and I was tired of the flat iron my mom constantly used to straighten it. I experienced shedding due to heat damage and that was when I wanted to stop using perm completely.
My mom wanted to stop to use it when she found out I had eye vision issues. I eventually had a bump inside my top eyelid which we treated medically. No matter how badly we wanted to stop perming my hair, we couldn't because caring for natural hair seemed an impossible mission. It was more work on my mom's part to keep my hair healthy and I also was ashamed of wearing it because of mean and unsolicited comments from my comrades.
People called my hair "a mattress, carpet, dish scrub" and many more names. I tried to resist during my transition process but failed. In Haiti, the good products in the hair market were too expensive. My mom could not afford them, so I tried not to be too exigent and therefore went along with the perm again until I came to the U.S.
July 15, 2017
My best friend cut her sister's hair and mine. We did the big chop together and started our natural hair journey. It felt more powerful than freedom. It was like breaking shackles in your mind and the thousands of misconceptions society has passed on to us.
I received counsel to wear earrings to not look masculine, and to perm my hair again because it was "better." I resisted and to this day, I have not regretted making that decision!
5 Months After
Three months after my big chop, I started to see growth. I remember being excited to see my hair curls after wetting them and how it'd shrink when dry. I loved the bouncy and spongy feel of it. Oh, I loved it! Then it kept growing, and I no longer believed the myth that natural hair can't grow. It sure did in my case!
6 Months- 1 Year Later
